I love the sunshine!
So so much. =)
I finally, after weeks of needing to, went and sorted myself out a GP appointment today to go through all my repeat prescription stuff, and make sure the GP and Papworth have lists that match.
Technically, this isnt my job. Because Papworth always tell them about all my changes. But unless I physically sit with the Dr and watch him change each thing in the computer, nothing gets updated. Lol.
They shouldnt be too far off. I think its only the inhalers and calcium that have changed since I last did it. =/ But who knows. Lol. Papworth are always changing something.
I've had 2 people say they'll do the Adidas 5k with me in London in September! So it looks like I'll be doing it now. =)
Once I get there I'll know plenty of people. But it was to travelling to and from London alone that bothered me. So now I have friends! YAY!
Ashridge walk is getting scarily close now. And yet so far away too. 2 and a half weeks is far too long, because I can so easily get ill in that space of time! LoL! I want to get it over and done with while I'm feeling fairly good! Haha.
We've raised just over £370 now in sponsor money, which I'm very pleased with! =)
My sinuses are still driving me insane. Some days are worse than others. Last night I was back to being in tears with pain, and barely able to even see. Today has been slightly better.
I still cant stop the painkillers though, or its unbearable. =/ Not ideal. Especially not with my liver.
I'll get there in the end. I always do.
I'm trying to accept that things wont ever be perfect. And I just have to make the best of it all.
Of course, some days thats easier to accept than others. Some days I want to scream, and cry, and punch things. (Which of course doesnt help, just means I'm more breathless than usual... Lol.) On the good days its easier to just try and accept everything. I guess thats what keeps you sane on the bad days. If I was just constantly angry and upset, I'd never survive, I'd go insane.
The good helps balance the bad, and so we continue...
Just have to keep reminding myself that yes, this is rubbish, and its not particularly fair, but its also not the worst thing in the world. I have my family, I have my friends, I have a safe and loving home, and I have food and water. Some people dont have that.
Plus, as much as I hate CF, it has had its positives.
I've grown up with a more understanding attitude towards other people I think. I try to be thoughtful of other peoples feelings.
I've met some amazing people through being in hospital. With and without CF. I've learnt a lot from them. About health, about life, and about everything else too.
I'm far closer to my parents, in particular my Mum, than a lot of people my age. Shes put up with a lot for me, and given up a lot to make sure I have the best life possible. I love my Parents so much.
I've made some truly amazing friends. I wouldnt have met Ellis or Danni if I hadnt been in hospital. I wouldnt know Stiv, or Pete, or Megz, or Tori, or so many amazing people if it wasnt for the fact I have CF. And to be honest I cant imagine a life without ANY of them. Stiv and Pete in particular, I can tell ANYTHING to, and there arent many people in the world I trust more than them.
I love my CF friends just as much as all my other friends. I care about them just as much, and they've made my life better in so many ways.
They understand me in different ways, better in many ways than my other friends, and even my family can. I can laugh with them, cry with them, and they are just as important to me.
Theyve taught me that I'm not alone. And I love each of them a lot for that.
I would make an awesome nurse. Or pharmacist. ;) HAHA!
I know far too many drugs, and can pretty much diagnose and prescribe treatment for half the things my family get wrong with them. Hehe.
I've also learnt to appreciate the work of medical staff so much more. As much as they can be annoying, and frustrating, they are working tirelessly to take care of other people.
Especially nurses, who have to do their own job, and being on the frontline, take all the blows from the patients when they get fed up, and keep the familys happy, and still keep a smile on their face.
CF has given me a sense of humour. I have learnt to laugh at things that would worry or shock other people. I often get asked by people how I can laugh about things.
Its simple. Laugh, or cry. I'd go insane if I didnt learn to laugh at myself. Lol.
Although I have lost friends to CF, its taught me to appreciate life, and friendship. I miss them everyday, but it gives me something to focus on. However bad things get, I have this overwhelming desire to live my life, and do the things they didnt have the chance to do. I dont want them to see me wasting what I have.
I try to appreciate everything, however small. And I'm easily pleased.
Sometimes its hard to show, but deep down, I know I'm lucky really.
I'm here, I'm safe, and I'm loved.