15 April 2011

Ryans 18th =) And stuff.

I cant believe that in 8 days, my little brother is going to be 18!
I guess that in some ways, he seems older, just because I dont always think of him as my 'little' brother. He's 6ft 3, and he just doesnt seem the kind of person who needs looking after. Lol.
But in others, he is very much my little brother.
I'd do anything to protect him, and keep him from getting hurt. And for all we fight and argue, I love him to bits.

Hes not doing much for his 18th, because he wants to save the money for his car. Bless him. It'll be nice now hes 18 though. Just to go down the pub if we want to. =) And it means he can come to the Charity night down the pub if he wants. Yay.

My sinuses are still very much driving me insane. They arent allowed to be bad, because I have too much going on this summer! I cannot schedule surgery time! Lol. I'm supposed to stay home for 2 weeks after... Because they cannot cover a wound thats inside your nasal passages, and its an infection risk.
I dont want to give up 2 weeks of my summer! LOL!

My breathing is kinda dodgy too.
Its hard to explain really. When I'm just sitting around, not doing anything to use any energy, I feel really great.
Then I move...

I hoovered the living room today, and I was half dead. And walking home with mum, after meeting her at work... Its only about a 5 minute walk, but I had to stop twice. The second time I was so out of breath and dizzy that I could see about 4 of everything. =/ Not great.

I'm sooooooooo fed up of having no money. Its driving me mad. I've heard nothing from the ESA people. And the DLA people had just sent me a letter to acknowledge receiving my forms, and tell me it could be up to 11 weeks for a decision.
I wish I could get my health under control enough to work. I WANT to work. I dont want to be on benefits. GAH! But unfortunately, until I can stop being ill constantly, and in hospital so much, its not even an option.
I'm sure people just think I'm lazy. =/ I spent 21 weeks on IVs last year. Its not laziness. Its not a choice.
So why do I still feel so guilty? Lol.


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