31 January 2011

Good Day... Wow.

Today was a good day. Completely untainted, pure and simple, goodness.
That does not happen often.
Nothing extraordinary happened, nothing fancy or exciting. But nothing went wrong, which is better if anything.

I havent spent all day in pain. Which is the first time in a while, and it was amazing.
I'm still not back to the level I was a couple of months ago. I'm still exhausted after the smallest things, like getting changed, or washing my hair. But I have the energy to do them in the first place, which is kinda a massive improvement.

Mum helped me sort my room out today. Well, I say helped, she pretty much did most of it. Moved all the furniture, and hoovered, dusted, and generally tidied up. Its strange, how sitting in a tidy room feels so satisfying. =) Got rid of my tv too, seeing as I cant actually remember the last time I used it.

And I'm looking forward to friday. Going to High Wycombe to stay with my bestest friend in the whole world Emma. I've not seen her flat, or actually been up to see her at Uni before. And its always a giggle with Emma anyway, plus Leannes going too, so extra giggles! And I'll get to meet Emmas new boyfriend, got to make sure hes good enough for her. Hehe.
And shes got it into her head shes going to set me up with his friend. Bless her. We'll see. Apparently I'll meet him friday anyway. Lol.

Anyway, thats enough rubbish for one night. Plus, my stupid cat keeps trying to sit on the keyboard. He really is quite thick. *Sigh*

Lovelove my lovelys <3 xx

29 January 2011

='( Breathe Easy David

And just when life looks like its taking a turn for the better...
It has this funny way of turning round and biting you in the arse.

Breathe Easy David.

Not really sure what to say tbh. I never saw this coming. =(
Just love you lots little mister.
And I'm gonna go cause some mayhem on your behalf.


My friend Nick passed away a little over a month ago. He was an amazing guy, but we all knew how ill he was. He'd been in Papworth for months. It was a period where I was refusing to be admitted for various reasons, and was having to go to clinic once a week. So each week I'd go and wave, or take him a card. He had a lot of cards from me with random pointless messages in. =) I was admitted at the beginning of December, and whilst I was there everything got drastically worse and the doctors said he wouldnt make it til christmas. He fought hard but in the end he passed on the 23rd.

I'm not sure which is worse for those who are left behind, to know its coming, or to just be caught unaware. It hurt to watch Nick slipping away before our eyes, his body giving up, but at least everyone had their chance to say goodbye, and make him feel as loved as possible.
When these things just sneak up on us, there is so much left unsaid.

Lovelove guys xx

26 January 2011

New Beginnings?

So, today, for the first time in a very long time... It actually feels like maybe I dare start looking forward to life.
Shocking, I know!

For so many months now, my life has revolved around my health. Today, although I'm not 100%, I actually felt like things were heading in the right direction. The last 6 months or so everything had fallen to pieces. My health was not playing games I enjoyed, my relationship broke down to a point I had no choice but to walk away, several friendships had ended for various reasons, and just nothing was really going right. And I topped it all off with an entire month in Papworth, including my birthday.

But now is time to get on top of things I think. My health still isnt great, but I'm back at a point I can work from. The relationship is over, and I think I'm ready to start moving on from that. And I've worked out which friends in my life should really matter.

So this is it. I deleted the old blog, seeing as I hadnt written anything in months anyway. Lol. And this now, is the story of my little life. And hopefully, my climb back to something that resembles normality!

Lovelove xx