25 February 2011

Hello 3am.

03.16 am.

For crying out loud.

I've given up trying to sleep.

I spent the last hour curled up in a ball, in tears with pain. This time its my stomach.
Well, its everything really. But if we're being specific, its my stomach thats pushed me over the edge tonight. Lol.
I'm used to be permanently in some kind of pain. Well, maybe pain is a bit extreme, but permanently uncomfortable, because my lungs havent been great for a while. But this kind of definite pain that makes you double over and hold yourself, is not fun. Curling up in a ball, clutching at my stomach, trying to find some kind of vaguely comfortable position.

I'd like just one part of my body thats okay.

My lungs, stomach, sinuses, and joints have ALL been playing up today. Painkillers havent really touched any of them. =/
Along with the random and fairly loud buzzing and whirring in my right ear, that comes and goes recently.
Its these kind of days when I would quite happily give up. But I cant, I'll just get on with it the best I can, and hope with all my heart, that when I wake up tomorrow, its a better day.

I'm very aware, that there are few people in this world that I let in completely. I tend to keep my fears, my feelings, my secrets and my thoughts, to myself. Theres only a few people I trust with everything. The last couple of days, I've realised just how much I complain to them. I feel kinda bad, its not fair to give other people all my issues, when they have their own to deal with.
So I'll try to save the whinging and ranting for here. Because if you choose to read, you only have yourself to blame. Haha. ;)

I dont want to become a burden on the people I care about. I love them to much for that.

And todays happy note... I posted something today. Someones getting post... Oooh, exciting! Hehehe.
Yes, little things please little minds.
Also, finally sorted some pictures for my wall to replace my old collage of 'Me and Matt' pictures. Still need to sort through and find pictures of several people to add to it, mainly my close CF friends. But I have a start now, rather than just an empty space.

Lovelove xx
Oh, its 03.42 now. For the record.
*Rolls Eyes*

1 comment:

  1. I hope I'll be up there ;)

    You can moan to me anytime you want xx