Catch Up

Hiiiii.

So yeah, I'm still here! I've just been really quiet for a few weeks.
Basically, because I've just had complete writers block, and nothing worth writing about.

I was only in hospital a couple of days after my last post, and then the doctors sent me home because the drugs werent making me better, and were just making me sick.
Shortest admission ever.

I had clinic at Addenbrookes about my sinuses, (FINALLY) and the Consultant, (Same one I saw last year!) thinks I will probably need another operation. We're just waiting on a CT scan, to confirm what he thinks.
So I have a CT scan booked for the 20th, and then clinic again on the 21st. Wow, thats a fun couple of days. Lol.

Its nearly time to go up north!! SO EXCITED. Just 2 more sleeps now and then off to see Michael and Clairey!!
Will be leaving Leagrave about half ten on thursday. Not long now!! I'm pretty much packed, just the last minute stuff left, like chargers.
Good job really, because half my case it taken up by bloody birthday presents!! 8-)

Anyway, I daresay I'll have loads to tell you when I get home next tuesday. And then theres lots of stuff coming up, so I should be back a bit more. Birthdays, Lizs hen night, Lunches with friends, lots of exciting fun stuff!!

Love you all.
xxxxx

Random Stuffness.

Sooo, whats happened since wednesday?

My train tickets arrivedd!!! Eeeeeeeeeeeep! The very next morning, which was pretty damn impressive tbh.
Sooooo excited now. The next 5 and a half weeks are going to be sooooo slow!
I'm going to see a TOT!
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.
He will be sooooo sick of me after being stuck with me for 5 whole nights. I'll probably be kicked out by the friday night. Haha.
Or the first time I start singing reealllyyy badly to myself.
Also, I hope he has stocked up on Orange Lucozade before I get there... Hehe.
Lol.
Tot Tot Tot Tot Tot!
This is like 3 years of excitement, all squished into a few weeks! =)
And to think I was so excited about going to London for the Day! I keep forgetting about that part now! Haha.

Anyway, we went off the Southend thursday. The weather was absolutely gorgeous! Although, we were sat eating some chips on the seafront, and there was this HUGE gust of wind, and it blew chips everywhere, and a full can of coke straight into ryans lap! Which, naturally, I found HILARIOUS.
I'm such a mean sister. Lol.
I took lots of pictures with my new camera. I LOVE my camera.
Anddddd I SAW A PETEY!
Well, he saw me... I managed to walk straight past him. Even though I was looking for him. Clearly I'm very observant. =/

Saturday I saw Gavin. =) We went up to Ashridge, and it was sooo pretty. Was a little concerned that we'd end up getting lost on the way, like when we followed Ryans Sat Nav... And my sense of direction would be no help to anyone. But Gavins sat nav is clearly better cos we got there fine. Lol
Wandered through the trees and found this random little house/hut/shack/shed... I would imagine it belonged to whoever looked after the grounds at one point, but now its just something for kids to write all over. Haha.
So theres me, sat on the little deck, watching Gavin wander around aimlessly, then hes just all, 'I wonder how many people have been killed here...' Haha! Totally scares me at times. ;)

Then yesterday me and the family were GOING to go for a picnic... But it rained. So we just had our picnic in the car, cos we're cool like that. =)

It was fine by me, cos I feel pretty rough the last couple of days. All I want to do is sleep. =/ Meh.

I think I was awake for about 8 hours yesterday... Out of the whole day... Thats not right!! Lol.

Ah well.

Love Love xx

Tot Times!

My train tickets are booked!!

I will be leaving Luton just after 11am and arriving in Darlington around 3pm ish, on the 14th July, and leaving Darlington again about half past 3 on the 19th!!

Excited MUCH!!

I bought a new camera today! Its not the most amazing latest thing ever... But I think its amazing. 14 megapixals... 5x Optical zoom... HD Video... Optical Image Stabalisation.
Its more than good enough for what I use it for.

So now I can take many pictures of all my exciting summer stuff.

Speaking of which... SOUTHEND tomorrow! YAY!
Do love the seaside.

Anything this was just a mini blog, to share my excitement about Trains being booked.

Night night xx

Its meeeeeeee.

Hey guys! I'm still here, honest!!

Laziness, moodiness, lots of sleep and 2 days with no internet, meant I was pretty quiet while I was in Papworth.
But I am now home!! I was only there for 9 days!

I started to feel better, and asked if I could go home, and it was all good. =)
Lungs functions were up to 45%, not perfect, but better than the 37% I had when I went in.
I'd reached the point, where the benefits of being at home, and getting decent food, and proper sleep, far outweighed the benefits of having drugs and doctors and physios.

Gavin came to visit me on thursday, which was nice. =) We watched Patch Adams (Love that film), and I ate HARIBO BEARS! I also took a mini shower in Cherry Lucozade, thanks to him. Grrr! Haha. He shook my bottle up, and I forgot and opened it... Oops.
Hes also responsible for the discovery that I like Cherry Lucozade. And Lucozade will now make EVEN MORE money from me. Lol.

Also, the most exciting thing everrrrr... I'm going to see Stiv!!!
Hes coming to London at the end of June for some geeky sonic thing, and I'm going to see him and Claire on the sunday, and spend the day with them!!
Means getting up. In the morning. On a sunday. The day after Danni's 18th Party... Haha.
There are no words for this kind of excitement though. After 3 years I'm FINALLY going to see Stiv properly! I can hug him!! =D
We're also planning for me to go up and stay with them in July. I'm so excited.
Stiv made me smile while I was in Papworth too. Sent me a Glee Easter Egg and Mug. LOVE IT!

Spent soooo much money this week.
Went a little crazy online on monday, ordered a load of DVDs (including season 1 of Glee!) and 2 tshirts.
Then today I went into town, and exhausted myself walking round every shop there! Or at least it felt like it. Did get a dress, some shorts, and 3 new tops though. And some shoes. And I dont need to buy another card until July.
Note to self: Do not become friends with anyone else born in June or July. Lol.

Love xx

Return of the naughty lungs...

Firstly, I would like to thank anyone that took the time to read my last post, about life with CF.
I had a few lovely messages from various people, who said it was well written, and it means a lot that people read the things I write, let alone take the time to compliment me on them.
Its easy, and hard, to write about something so close to your heart. Its really easy to know what I'm feeling, but not always so easy to put into words for everyone else, especially with a subject which has so many different emotions attached to it.

Ah, so my lungs played nice for a little while. But they're back to their old tricks.
Went with Dad for a drink tonight. Did nothing but sit, and watch the band sing. And still ended the night with a nice bleed.
Stupid lungs. When will they learn they arent supposed to bleed!!
Wasnt my worst bleed ever, but it was still fairly nasty. And I'm still bubbling now.
I hate that feeling. You can only possibly understand it, if you've coughed up blood from your lungs. Its very strange.

Looks like a trip to Papworth next week then. =/
Meh.

I feel very Meh.
Meh is a good word tonight. Meh Meh Meh Meh.
Bird is overrated. Meh is the word.
Even Gavin said so. And hes clever, so it must be true.

Oh well, better to go to Papworth, and get it sorted before I feel really bad. Leaving these things does no good.

On the plus side, I have milk bottles. Which makes everything a little bit better.

Went to Tesco with Dad and Ryan earlier. We've walked round, got what we wanted, I've wandered round a few feet behind them, head in my phone texting Stiv... (Nothing new there... Haha.) Next thing I know, Dads telling the security guard that some random girl is following them around!! LOL! I do love my Dad at times, hes a nutter. Security guard was intelligent enough to know it was a joke. Can you imagine if he hadnt? HAHA!
I do have the most random giggles with Dad. Think thats why we're still fairly close... Because we have the same stupid sense of humour. Lol.

Saw EMMA last night!!! Was extremely happy. It had been over 3 months since I saw her, and I was missing her loads! We just had a quiet night in, and watched the Eurovision with her brother and his friends.
They were playing drinking games. They gave us countries, but we didnt join in with the drinking. I got Romania, Serbia, Switzerland and Hungary though... So I wouldnt have drunk much anyway. LoL!
And shes home for the summer in 2 weeks. So I cant wait.

This summer should be awesome. Last year everything kind of revolved around Matt and what he wanted to do, but this year I can fill my time as I wish. =)
Hopefully I'll get to go and see Stiv at some point, because that would be awesome. And hang out with Emma. And then harass anyone else I want to. =)
I also have to force someone to watch Labyrinth with me. Hehe!

I also, thanks to Emma, have this overwhelming urge to make my own pizzas. Well, not the dough... Although, I'd do that if I knew how! But like toppings and stuff, and then cook it. She did it last night.

Also, on a random note, I have discovered the song chasing cars makes me cry. Like proper crying. =/ I swear, it is not normal to be THIS emotional. Unless you're like drunk. Or pregnant. And I am neither or these things!!

MEH! Lol.

xx

OMG. Its MAY?!

I cant believe its MAY! Already!!
I swear, its only JUST been christmas! This year is disappearing, I dont understand! Lol.

1 week to go, until our Sponsored walk!

The weather has been amazing the last couple of weeks, and I really hope it can hold until next sunday for us. It will be much nicer if the sun is shining. And we can take some really pretty pictures, because Ashridge is gorgeous at the minute. Its like a carpet of bluebells in places.
We've raised just over £430 so far, and we're still going! Its been amazing. =)

My friend Pete had his head shaved friday night as well. He has raised over £350 so far for the CF Trust.
My friends are so amazing at times...

I have sent over 1800 text messages in the last 2 weeks. Haha, I dont know whether to be proud, or a little scared.
I think Stiv and Gavin are probably responsible for most of those tbh. I dread to think how I'd cope if I wasnt on contract. Lol.

Gavin has been amazing, the last couple of months. Hes very quickly become one of the most important people in my life. =)

OMG. Royal Wedding!!
Now, I have to admit, during the lead up I was completely fed up of hearing about the wedding, and had very little interest in it.
But I got up friday morning, and put the TV on, and started watching... And I was hooked. It was amazing, the way William and Kate look at each other, the love was so clearly visible in their eyes. They looked so happy, and natural together. And of course, she was BEAUTIFUL. As was everything.
Except that hat Beatrice was wearing... LOL! She looked like a reindeer. Hehe.
I was so loved up by the end of it, and it wasnt even me getting married! Haha. It really was like watching a disney film.

Now, I just have to go find myself a prince. =)

Annual Review results on wednesday... Yay. Not.
That'll be fun. Go sit in a room, while they tell me things that I could have told them. That my lungs/liver/blood sugars/everything is slightly worse than last year. But not bad enough yet to do anything about. Thats pretty much what theyve said every year. Haha.
On the plus side, I'm single this year. Which means they wont surprise me with the whole sex and making babies talk I got last year. Lol.

Its my last chance for a check up before I go wandering 10km through the trees too, so hopefully it'll all be fine.
I feel okay, anyway. Not 100%, but okay. Just need to take things easy this week, and keep myself okay. =) And keep this stupid sinus pain under control. Lol.

Anyway, thats all for now I think.

Lovelove xx

Crazy Magpies, and other fun.

OMG! A magpie flew into my window!!
I'm sat here, minding my own business, and then BAM! Magpie goes splat!
It seemed to be okay. It landed on the shed, shook all its feathers out, and then flew off into a tree.
SCARED the living daylights out of me though! And kitty who was sleeping on my windowsill!

Crazy magpie caused some major giggling, once it was okay, and I recovered from my initial surprise. Lol.
Which naturally resulted in a coughing fit. *Rolls Eyes*

Stupid lungs.
They're driving me insane. Even when I'm not sick, I'm constantly stressing over them. Every little thing makes me panicky.
Every coughing fit leaves me wondering how long until I have to phone papworth, how long til I need IVs, how long til I cough up more blood.

On the plus side, I AM actually pretty well. =)
I even managed to CANCEL a clinic appointment today! Haha. I have my Annual review results next week. But for some reason they'd sent me an appointment for tomorrow as well.
I am not going up there 2 weeks in a row, when I'm feeling okay! Its pointless. I dont like them that much! I'll just stick to next week. Lol.
I cant remember when I last got to cancel an appointment! Normally I'm ringing them up to beg for extra ones! Haha.

I think the weather has had an effect on my health. I've been outside, and enjoying myself, and feeling generally happier, which has a positive effect on everything else. =)

Now I just want to make everyone else happy. I absolutely hate seeing my friends down, or sick, I just want to fix it!!
Feeling helpless is horrible.
I'm used to ME being ill. I can deal with that. I'd quite happily be ill all the time, if I could just see everyone else happy.

I'm definately looking forward to the summer now, and all the fun it shall bring.
I'm hoping that I'll be able to go and visit Pete in Southend at some point.
And Stiv in those strange northern lands where he lives. (This is code for, I've forgotten the name of the place... Lol.)

So YAY! =)

xx

20 Facts About Moi.

So this is something I'd seen someone else do. And decided to kill some time with myself...

1. I am insanely emotional. I feel everything so passionately. And I cry far too much. Not just when I'm sad, but also when I'm scared, when I'm happy, when I'm relieved, when I'm angry... Just all the bloody time.

2. I love to read. I would rather read a book than watch a film any day. Using your imagination to create a world in your own head, and then develop each character, make them your own, watch them grow, learn to love them or loathe them... I'd created my own narnia, long before the films came out. =) I've always loved to sit and escape into a world within the pages of a book, and I always will. Its got a magic of its own.

3. I love a good disney movie. I love the way the bad guys always lose in the end, and the good guys always win. I love the way everything always works out, and everyone is happy, and everything is beautiful. I love the way singing fixes everything. I love the happily ever after.

4. I love summer evenings. When the sun has gone, but its still warm enough to be comfortable outside. I love listening to the birds singing to each other.

5. I also love watching the sun set.

6. I am scared of Moths. I will run. I will scream. If there is a moth in my room, I wont go to bed. I panic, and my heart races. Despite the fact I KNOW they cant hurt me. I think its the way moths have no fear. They are quite happy to fly straight into your face.

7. I love my cat, far more than is probably considered normal. I also take far too many pictures of him. Because hes always either being cute, or stupid, both of which are fun to photograph.

8. The person I feel closest too in the entire world, lives 250 miles away, and I've never met in person... Strange? Maybe. But I would trust him with my life. I cant imagine not having him as a part of my life. I wouldnt want to.

9. I wish I could go back to high school and start over. I got good grades at high school. I passed my GCSEs with 3 As (Math, RE and Textiles), 3 Bs (English Language, English Literature and French), 2 Cs (Double Science) and a GNVQ Merit in ICT. I went to college to study childcare because thats what I wanted a career in, but my health and attendance meant I didnt finish. I passed everything I completed, but I was months behind. If I could do it over, I'd take A levels in subjects which were less practical, and could be studied from hospital more easily.

10. I do send far too many text messages. At least 2000 a month. On a quiet month. Lol! And I love it when I have 'Good morning' messages when I wake up. Its one of the little things I miss from being in a relationship. I would always have a 'good morning' and 'good night'. And the cute little text messages, to say 'I love you', or 'I miss you'. I'm also guilty of saving messages to read when I'm feeling miserable. =) Lol.

11. I always fall for the wrong guys. I think thats true of a lot of girls, I suppose. But I definately have a talent for it.

12. My lung function is now at a level where I almost certainly wont be having children of my own, unless I get magically better. Being a mum is the one thing I've always imagined myself doing, it comes naturally, I love being around children. It upsets me, but I'm dealing with it. It means I have even more love for the children of my friends, particularly Liz's little girl, Evie. And if Ryan ever has children, I will be the greatest Auntie EVER. =)

13. I am very close to my Mum. And it is rare that we fight. But when we do, we really go for it. We do it in style. LOL! I love her a lot though. And I love my Dad. I have amazing parents, I couldnt ask for anything more.

14. I take a lot of photos. I would love to one day take some kind of course, and learn how to do all kinds of fancy stuff, because I do enjoy trying to be creative.

15. I keep things. Lots of things. I have pictures and letters from a CF friend, Shahara, who passed away when I was about 15. I have artwork and notes from a patient (and her parents) I befriended on the childrens ward, who was 2 at the time. I have good luck cards from my GCSEs, and get well cards from my college friends and the nursery where I was on placement. I have notes from Pete, and cards from Megz on my wall in my room. As well as a christmas card from Stiv, because he drew a tigger in it. And a christmas card from Nick, which I treasure because he wrote it himself, despite the fact his eyesight was failing, and he could barely hold a pen. He wanted to write it. He passed away on the 23rd December.

16. Joint pain had ruined my handwriting. I used to have the most amazing hadwriting, but now it hurts to hold a pen for longer than a couple of minutes. =(

17. I drink an insane amount of Orange Lucozade. It cant possibly be healthy. But its so good, and it hasnt killed me yet. Haha.

18. Sun burn sucks. (I got burnt on my chest today... Its irritating me. Lots.)

19. I cannot swim. Its something I hate myself for, because I LOVE the pool. I'm slightly afraid of water, but I do love swimming pools. Not logical, I know. Lol. I also LOVE the smell of swimming pools.

20. I'm very easily pleased. I dont need big fancy gestures. And I'm a complete romantic at heart. I'd love to walk along the beach, or the river, or through the park, hand in hand, on a warm summers evening, and then lay and stare at the stars.
Soppy, I know. =/ But ah well.